It is statistically guaranteed that the closer you get to a holiday (or any sort of "break") in a high school, the crazier things get.

Spring Break is next week, so things are getting a wee bit crazy round these parts. But oh, I can make it. I keep having visions that look like this and pull me through the day.

I intend to spend all my time by the pool next week, except for the hour in which I will be getting a massage (courtesy of a Christmas present from Rich).

Rich will still have school, so that's a downer. Otherwise, blue skies ahead. 1.5 more days- I can do it!

Oh dear...

"I didn't go to tutoring because my probation officer didn't let me cause Im on house arrest."

We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

The best recital ever

Last night, Rich and I were all set to go to a violin, viola, and piano faculty recital at the colleges. We arrived 10 or so minutes before it was scheduled to start and were shocked to find a line of college students about 20 people long.

"Wow," I commented to Rich. "I can't believe there are this many students at a classical music event. This must be, like, the best recital EVER."

We stood in line with the students, even more shocked to see guards with wands scanning each person who went inside.

"Man, they really take the no recording thing seriously here!" Richard joked.

The girl in front of us was wearing Party Rock glasses, and had a tattoo (fake, I think) that read, "Sorry for Party Rockin'!"

We made it through the metal detecting guards who asked us if we had any cigarettes in our pockets to the doors where they asked for our tickets.

"Tickets! We thought this was a free event."

We trouped over to the ticket booth where they told us the concert cost $30 per person. "For a faculty recital!" Richard scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me."

Turns out, there are TWO buildings called "Bridges"- one at Pomona College and one at Scripps College. And we were not, in fact, standing in line for the most rockin' faculty recital of our lives, but for a concert for a group called LMFAO. I'll give you a minute to go find them on YouTube.

We made it over to Bridges Hall, where we were greeted by a grad student handing out programs and a much grayer audience. There was no shuffling at the recital, but it was pretty awesome, nonetheless.

Edited to add: After reading this, Richard has kindly asked me to inform you all that BOTH Bridges are at Pomona College, not a Scripps College. When I asked him if that really mattered, he replied, "Well, yeah!" So all you fact checkers out there can breathe a bit easier now.

Hey! Look at a cute picture of us at a wedding last summer!

The one where I learn all about ankle monitors

I never knew I'd learn so very much about ankle monitors.

For example, did you know that for minors, ankle monitors are on timers? (This might be true for grown ups, too?) As in, from 8 am until 3:30 pm, the ankle monitor must be at school or else it goes off. And exactly at 3:30, the monitor must be on its way home or else it goes off. And it has to stay at home until 8 am the next day or else it goes off. I always thought house arrest meant house arrest.

So because of this timer issue, basically, if you are on house arrest, you can't stay after school for detention or tutoring without making special arrangements with your probation officer. Ironically, kids on house arrest are probably most in need of staying for tutoring and with the most detentions.

Also, it is most fashionable to wear ankle monitors with shorts and black socks, I guess so everyone can SEE your ankle bracelet.

Seemingly every urban high schooler knows (or at least claims to know) how to disable an ankle monitor. Not sure why the kid is still wearing the monitor if that is the case, but he will swear up and down that he could take it off if he wanted to. I guess they just wear it for kicks?

Finally, ankle monitors are run on batteries which are most likely to run out right in the middle of math class (this has happened TWICE in two weeks with two different kids!). It's official, America's justice system hates math.

So now you know.

Highlights

• This week, we bought a new (to us) car. It only took us about two hours, which was shocking to both Richard and me. As we sat in the CarMax cubicle signing the last papers, Richard whispered to me, "Wow. This IS the way car buying should be!"

• In other news, Richard got his black belt in Tae Kwon Do this week! So you should know, if you didn't think Richard could take you before, he can definitely take you now. Unless you're a black belt, too. Then it might be a little less one-sided.

• Finally, I fussed at a kid this week and embarrassed him in front of the whole class for what I thought was a cell phone going off repeatedly in class, but was actually a malfunctioning ANKLE MONITOR. They don't train you in how to deal with these things in your credential classes.

• Richard has Spring Break this week, but mine is in five more weeks (not that I'm counting or anything).

The one where Charlie learns to tell time.

Last night, Charlie and I had a talk.

"You are not to wake me," I said, "until this clock says seven-zero-zero." I held up my cell phone. "And when you wake me up, do not stand on my shoulder and put your cold nose in my face. It's not polite."

Charlie moaned (as he often does) and nosed his way under the covers.

He is turning into a bit of a pain in the neck, what with all the opinions and grumbling and waking me up at 4:00 am on a Saturday. He used to sleep until we woke him up- around 10 or 11, when I felt sure it was bordering on dangerous for him not to eat breakfast and go outside.

This morning, Charlie woke me up by standing on my shoulder and putting his nose in my face, as always. But imagine my surprise when I looked at the clock. It read 6:59. He almost made it, which is about all I can ask of a dog.

The one where we DON'T buy season passes to Splashtown

I am basically beside myself excited for summer. Lazy days at the pool, at the beach, and warm, warm weather. Evening concerts in the park, picnics, and day trips. Camping, hiking, and taking Charlie to the dog park. Rich and I are in the process of making our second annual summer list of things we want to do and accomplish this summer. And this year, we are actually going to put things on the calendar since we are much more likely to actually do these things if we have them on the schedule rather than relying on our spontaneity. Of which we have none. Because we are old, old farts. (I'd had a sneaking suspicion that we were old farts for a long time. This was confirmed at the Valentine's Dance, which we chaperoned at school on Friday night.)

Anyway, does anybody have any good suggestions for fun things we should do this summer? I'll be sharing our list soon, after we've finished formulating it.

The three questions I am asked most often by my students are:

1) Are you married?

2) Do you have kids?

3) How old are you?

No matter how many times I answer these questions, the kids either forget (pretty likely) or don't hear (also pretty likely), and so it seems as if the same students are asking these questions over and over again.

I have a picture of Rich and me on my desk, and the kids are totally fascinated by it. I don't know if it's the interracial thing or the shock of figuring out that I have a life beyond the school day or that I know people they don't know, but they are constantly asking me about that picture and who the handsome young man in the picture is.

Just the other day, a boy saw the picture while getting a Kleenex from my desk and asked, "Miss, is that your boyfriend?" (He sounded a bit incredulous, I might add.)

"No," I replied, "that's my husband."

"Wow!" he said. "He looks like a really cool guy."

"He is," I answered.

"I mean, he looks like he really likes basketball!"

"Uh.... okay?"

Here is that image, where it is clear that Richard is a huge sports fan.

Nothing says basketball-lover like a pair of khakis.

The one where we don't go camping

We were thinking of going camping this weekend to honor our dead presidents and the day they got us off from school. Trying to decide whereto go tonight, I pulled up the weather report only to see this:

California went and decided to have some weather after all. It is even supposed to rain in the MOJAVE DESERT this weekend. No camping for us, I guess. Maybe s'mores in the microwave instead?